The Winds of Chaos

Chaos 

What we all are in. 

The winds that have hit the state of New Mexico lately has stirred up a lot of dust and a lot of anxiety.. as well as helped me see the truth in a lot of what I am feeling.

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I have had a crazy time as of late. My work at a college has been in full swing and I have thrown myself into it. But at the same time, I still want more. I don’t want to be there forever. And my creative side is gearing up for something big. Echo and other projects are on my mind and so are the mini-docs series I have in the editing bay right now. And on top of that my genetic artist in me, given to me by both my parents.. is rearing its head and making me yearn for the tactile feel of working with paint and canvas. 

Emotionally I have come to some conclusions about this life.. I wish that the family I had around me growing up was still intact. That the lie of us all being blood and that’s all that mattered would last forever… but that is not the case. When you grow up you lose that sense of belonging and have to move forward alone. 

I have given up on the hope and dream of having a closeness to the family; at least not now… perhaps in the future. I tried and felt very lost and betrayed by some of the most trusted.. Some are still here and will continue to be in my life and I will continue to reach out to them.. sending them care and love as they go through their own events….  family and friends included that have been there for me and continue to do so. 

I am also focussing everything I have on my life and what I want it to become. To hell with all this b.s. of wanting to belong.. so what?! We are all alone in truth, in alone in chaos and it is only up to ourselves to trust our instincts and get through the chaos of life. We all have trials and tribulations that no one else can understand and so we must gather our own strength and go at it alone.  Maybe I can add more fellow creators, family, and friends to the list of trusted advisors in my life as we move forward.. actually, that is my greatest dream. (In fact, I am hoping writing all this down will help me clear it out of my system so I can move forward)

So, for now, I am focussing on the creative side of myself, and the minimizing project that T and I plan to complete this summer. There will be a lot of blogs, vlogs, and videos to come.. as well as a book and a feature! Very excited about these things. And at some point, I will need to gather some film people together to help these projects blow up and become. But for now, I shall plod along, outlining what I am envisioning. 

Filmmakers, artists, and creators I have met lately btw.. this is a call for you to contact me I have some fantastical projects to be involved in.. so let me know!!!!!!!

Chaos is this world. I believe some things are very clear. And most of us are trying to just to get through as well as to understand the what and whys underneath everything. Perhaps I am in still in some heavy grief that I will never shake.. maybe that in itself will make my art deeper and more meaningful then it would have been otherwise. 

My reason for being in New Mexico is to get to the bottom of something that has been bugging me for quite some time..to change and to evolve. If I can figure these things out and understand it, then I can move on. images-3

Thank you for reading this… 

S.Bungay @wickedlydriven 4/20/18

Loss of Identity

UnknownI am very open here about my past lives.. and I am working on ECHO which is, in reality, based on my own experiences. But lately, I have felt as if my own self, identity, personality, etc.. has been sucked away by all this. I feel as if I don’t even know myself anymore; and that I am losing touch with what I really want. At this point, I don’t even know what I want anymore.

On a recent road trip, the first in awhile, we visited some land I own. Now, in this life, I had acquired this land a few years ago and the desire to live on it and cultivate it I had thought was mine. But when we arrived I felt nothing for it. It was nice to see it, with new young trees coming up and snow on the ground. But I still felt nothing for this land. Usually, when I visit I am full of love for it and plans for the future.. but now? I did manage to shoot some footage of it, to analyze what I really want to do with it. And the only thing I truly felt for was the logs that have been piled up on the land for a project I was considering.. weird.

I felt so strange and out of body that I wept openly about feeling lost. When we arrived in Ruidoso, a town which I usually absolutely love to visit, I felt nothing for it either. My feelings were muted at this point and very frightening to me. I didn’t feel like my future belonged there at all. It was as if I woke up and everything had changed, a part of my heart and soul had been ripped out of my life and was gone forever. I haven’t felt like that since my Mom…..

The next day I still felt the same way. And I realized by that point that my past life that had been there had been pushing me to be there now, in this life. So now I have to figure out, who am I really and what do I want in my life?

I want to finish Echo and the project after it; even on a written word is done basis and then I want to move on with my life, whatever that entails and wherever that may be. I always thought that after Echo was done I would be freer, but that will have to wait until this is all said in done.

And things got interesting after that strange day in Ruidoso! We went to Lincoln County for a historic day. One which opened up my heart again to the past. I want to be there now.. at least temporarily to get all this adventure and historical research out of my system. Perhaps I’ll just plant an airstream on the land so I have a place to stay and take advantage of the fact I do have this land.. I don’t know. Things seem weird and everything seems up in the air. The minimizing might also be another attempt for me to figure out who I am.

Makes me yearn for more family connection and understanding.. and personal understanding of what really is happening…

by Sophia Bungay
Copyright @Wickedlydrivenmedia2/2018

Wickedly Driven Media Projects Update!

So, as I work towards the completion of the ECHO script and subsequent feature film, I am also working through my fear of being in front of the camera. To that end, I have been posting videos on facebook and youtube. If you don’t subscribe to my feeds on there, check out the link below!

The other news is since I am working on ECHO and the film about Dave’s biography film after, I am going to extend to not only character diary excerpts (that I hope you have been enjoying), I am going to add interviews about the subjects I’m covering, and historical tour vlogs, where I take you to where Dave and Mercury were.. and the era in which Dave lived.

So sit back, relax and enjoy….

And if you want to get involved please let me know!!!!!!!!! The more the merrier!

~Sophia Bungay Copyright@Wickedlydrivenmedia2018

Back At It!

Update Blog: January 12, 2018

Unknown-4Happy New Year! So I know I have been M.I.A. for a bit. I actually lost time during the holidays; not because of the festive bliss that one is pressured to have during this time of year, but because I was sick with the flu, this horrible virus that is widespread. The thing was work (at the day job) had to be done and I couldn’t put it off. So I worked through it as much as possible. Stress probably had a lot to do with it. But it was bad.. all the symptoms one thinks of with the flu, with the added fear that I have had pneumonia when I was little and I didn’t want it to develop again.
But I got through! I rested as much as possible, ate healthily, took my meds and had an acupuncture treatment, which I know had a lot to do with my healing. Now things at work have gotten back to normal.

Losing creative momentum made me rethink the projects that I was putting time and energy into. And I needed the motivation to continue on down the road. And I found some inspiration through Casey Neistat’s youtube channel, to continue with Echo, and all the other projects that Wickedly Driven Media has on its roster.

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So I have re-scheduled Wickedly Driven Media projects and plan to be posting and finishing the Echo Project, the Art Documentary, and a lot of other wonderful projects on the horizon.

To the new followers on my blog, Welcome!!!! I am so happy you have joined Wickedly Driven Media and hope to entertain and inspire you!
Echo is currently my main project. See the Echo Trailer here, and then click here or Echo in contents, and scroll to the bottom and read up on how it came to be. Posts are numbered according to the storyline so please catch up with us. More to come soon, including a feature film development!!!!
The other categories have all my archived video projects (short films, dance videos, interviews, & concepts), blog posts, short stories, and reviews. There are other sections that haven’t been fully worked on yet, but you can see the beginnings of them by clicking them on the Contents bar. I hope you enjoy them all.
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And please, if you can, leave a comment on the posts so that I know I’m entertaining, inspiring, or relating to you! That helps boost my creativity as well as inspire me to continue on as well as helps the social media curve I’m trying to achieve.

I also have other social media pages for Wickedly Driven Media. See below for the links!

Wickedly Driven Media on Facebook! 

Wickedly Driven Media on Twitter!

Wickedly Driven Media on Instagram! 

To Everyone: Sorry for my silence and sporadic posting; I hope to be more consistently posting and creating as much as possible as I have a lot of plans for 2018! I also hope that you are all having a wonderful start to the year! Let’s make it a great one!

by Sophia Bungay
Copyright @WickedlydrivenMedia2018

 

Chrysalis

(This was written stream of consciousness at 5am, three weeks ago. I feel as though it is important as I went through this process. I am still in this state, but a little less so… you will see in the coming blogs what has come to pass)

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I hadn’t blogged in a while. After that extremely intense month with the producers workshop and the dental surgery, I felt off kilter. Then, my days at the college got brutal as we finally had figured out the program for Spring, including a residential program with one online course. Since I am the Admissions Director as well as the web support my hands and head have been quite busy.. up to my neck in work.

But as I came out of the work week, which included an inspirational website building seminar with Nina Pilgrim from 4leet, I wanted to get started on my true passions again. A little movement at this time is better then none.

There is a lot of work to do to that end and I am trying to wrap my head around it. As I am dealing with characters and continuously having to come up with material for Echo and my own personal blog. As a writer/ creator you define who your characters are and at the same time they define you.

I feel as though I am in a chrysalis bubble, something like an alien egg, or something Lady Gaga may come out on stage in, dressed in a nude body suit. I am sleeping more in a meditative like trance, looking at the world as it is and what it has become; sometimes wondering if this is real and why awe are putting ourselves through this. And who am I really in this scenario?

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I do think the world is opening wounds and exposing disgusting infections (sexual harassment, war, politics, hatred, bigotry, et al) in order to heal and grow. I have faith that things will be clearer in the future, but what if this is a pattern that we are in, going ground and round forever? I sure as hell hope not.

And then, on top of all this, and wanting to shut the world out, I see past friends, living completely different lives then me. Are they daft, so simple minded that they can be happy making stupid movies no one will ever like or care for.. or breeding incessantly to the point that Mother nature cries out for help!? Or leaving their literal past self behind that they can’t acknowledge a friend who they went through so much with, because that would make the world a confusing and complicated? Or did he simply give up. (this was before evidence came to light pointing him out to be the fraud that he is; more on that later.)

I lie in my chrysalis, all these thoughts and more going through my head, and trying not to scream. Regardless, soon I will burst forth from this safety as the person I am meant to be; struggling away from not knowing myself and towards what I truly believe and know who I am deep down…  and, just maybe, see the world the way it is meant to be.

 

by Sophia Bungay
Copyright @wickedlydrivenmedia2017

 

My Birthday Reflection

Of the Year Past and the Year already began.

So, my birthday was last weekend. I reflected over the past year and came to the conclusion I got a lot accomplished but would have liked to get a lot more done.
What did I do this past year: (in no particular order).

  • Started working on Echo
  • 
Finished several scripts and concepts
-Started doing photography on a regular basis
  • 
Traveled as much as needed, but not as much as I would have liked.
  • Started blogging on a semi-regular basis and got quite creative.
  • 
Lost weight
  • 
Dated, socialized, and networked
  • Got inspired
  • Moved into a new position at work which included an office a nameplate and a raise, but which also came with a ton of responsibility.
  • Made new friends and maintained the trusted friendships
  • Reconnected with some past friends and stayed connected to family
  • Made it a point to try and see my Dad’s side of things, regardless of how difficult that was.
  • Came to a peaceful compromise with my entire self (past & present), including being comfortable enough to share that aspect of myself with others, including in this blog, at work, and with friends. 
No backlash either, which make me feel more confident that who I am is accepted/ respected.
  • Minimized
  • Made plans for the coming year that I am very excited about and hope to share with all of you.

Now looking at the list I had made myself this time last year that I wanted to accomplish in 2017… (blue ones were accomplished in one form or another)

  • Not take my self so seriously
  • Know that you only live once in this time and place, in this identity, and make the most of it. 

  • Be grateful for everything that is going well and the bad things as they are experiences to learn from.
  • 
Be grateful for everyone in my life. 

  • Save up money

  • Get a new job or more hours/ more pay

  • Freelance writer/ filmmaker
  • 
Get back my Social life! 

  • Make more friends! 

  • Go out at least one day a week (music/ art galleries/ events, gatherings, etc.)
  • 
Get into a real/ right relationship
  • 
Get fit and run at least a 5 k if not more; Lose weight/ gain muscle & become a svelte athlete; Work out at least 6 days a week
  • Hike Mineral King
  • Horse shows/ trail riding etc.
  • 
Make Huge Moves in my Career
  • Work on film productions

  • Get job writing or film production
  • Network and move forward
  • 
Make Wickedly Driven Media an official LLC. (decided a better route was more proactive)
  • Health – Go Vegan or something close to it.
  • 
Creative Life 

  • Continue a Blog on Wickedly Driven Media 

  • Start a vlog! (for networking & camera fear)
  • Have at least 6 creative days a week – Write and film
  • 
Make at least 6 shorts or Music Videos &/or 1 feature film
  • 
Write a Novel and get it on Amazon!!!! (worked on a concept for a novel series)

  • Finish projects I start! 

  • Get work into more publications etc.
  • Reconnect with networking assets for future endeavors

  • More learning and experimentation with my camera

  • Grants, scholarships, etc.
  • Curation
  • Finish archiving my Mom’s work Find artists and or galleries in Santa Fe
  • Start filming for the Documentary or small shorts regarding 
her life
  • 
Reconnect with family and let go of any pain from the past (partially done)

  • Connect with friends I already have and make them a 
priority 

  • Make a legitimate plan for the land I own – kinda… 
  • Spend more time down in Lincoln County
  • Travel!
  • 
Get passport
  • Visit family & friends
  • 
Go to at least one new place we have never been before!
  • Research going back to school to finish BA
  • 
Research learning more about Environmental Sciences
  • 
Books – Continue to read and research and get rid of any books 
I don’t need to keep. 

  • Clean up and Organize! 
Continue and complete the project of simplifying my life.
  • Keep things organized and clean.
  • 
Go to at least one great concert in the coming year – Several!

Wow….. I had told myself in 2016 when I made this contract with myself.. that “If I accomplish 50% I will be happy, if I can do 100% I will be ecstatic!”
I have clearly done about 75% of what I set out to do. A lot of the goals changed or went away… but for the most part, I did what I set out to do. I should feel accomplished and happy with my progress. And now that I am at peace with my entire being.. I can move forward.

So my contract with myself for 2018 is to continue the change and up the ante on every level.

In the Next Year I want to:

  • Save up money
  • Get a raise and/ or start producing film so I can move towards my true calling 
- Unknown-1writer/ filmmaker
  • Go out at least one day a week (music/ art galleries/ events, gatherings, etc.)
  • 
Get into a real/ right relationship
  • Get fit and run at least a 5 k if not more; Lose more weight/ gain muscle & become a svelte athlete
  • Meet musicians for collaborations
  • 
Make Huge Moves in my Career 
Work on film productions
/ and music videos for rock or punk bands.
  • Network and continue to move forward
  • 
Keep Wickedly Driven Media my home base, but expand to make productions their own LLC’s
  • 
Continue a Blog on Wickedly Driven Media
  • 
Start a vlog! (for networking)
  • Have at least 6 creative days a week – Write and film
  • Finish Echo and get funding for its production/ find producers to collaborate with.
  • 
Turn Karmic Outlaw into a feature film script, and produce the short version!
  • 
Get work into more publications etc.
  • Finish short story compilation regarding loss
  • 
Publish the first book of Novel Series based on research for Ruffian
  • 
Keep connections with networking assets for future endeavors
  • More learning and experimentation with my camera
Research
  • Film Grants and submit applications!
  • Finish archiving my Mom’s, look for a gallery for her
  • Start filming for the Documentary or small shorts regarding 
her life
  • Start filming and producing short documentaries in conjunction with Echo and Ruffian projects. 
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  • Start concepts and treatments for other projects
  • Make a legitimate plan for the land I own
  • Spend more time down in Lincoln County
  • Travel!
  • 
Get passport
  • Visit family & friends
  • 
Minimize more!
  • 
Go to at least one great concert in the coming year ( hopefully several!!!!!)
  • 
Reconnect with past ‘pals’ so that part of myself can be at peace.images
  • 
Start new hobby (I already have something in mind)
  • Be happy where I am so I don’t miss what is going on around me.
  • Self care

 

And it all starts NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Written by Sophia Bungay/ DR.  Copyright @wickedlydrivenmedia2017