When I was in grade school I became very devout to God. Something deep within me felt a comfort in knowing and being under his care, worshipping and praying to him. I felt justified in these feelings and felt as if I was forever safe within this religion. My parents let me choose my own path, which was a nice change from others who didn’t have a choice; and so I was Baptized, had my Communion, and Confirmation.. thinking that I would always be devout and in his embrace.
It was beyond God and Jesus, and I felt a very intimate deep connection with the Virgin Mary. She was who I felt deserved my devotion and my love, she who was all powerful in the womanly sense and I could relate to her. She who had overcome so much, and had been chosen. The little Lithuanian chapel in the middle of the City of Angels had the greatest priests and congregation on the planet to me. All understood what I felt about God.. and all wanted to move forward towards God on some level. (the only thing that irked me was that I couldn’t be an altar ‘boy’ because of my gender..
It was only after losing my Mother to cancer that I completely lost my faith. Why would He let this happen. I started doing research on other religions but never turned back to God.. and in hindsight, there was something more at work then my devotion to a Deity and a woman connected with Him. Instead there was some memory of some devotion ages ago the sparked these feelings of blissful prayer and belonging..
I am a priestess of the Goddess Isis… I worship and serve at her leisure on the island of Philae.. where many Gods and Goddess are worshipped in honor of the Mother of all… I spend my days and most nights in her stead. Dressed in linens and metals, my hair braided off my neck, my skin washed and scented with oils so I am desirable to the presence of the gods. I worship and serve in her behest, making sure all gods around her are worshipped by their devotees, but more importantly, that her name, and her wishes are met. Beautiful bowls of petals and fruits, and gifts for her altar, her precious fountains dazzling in the light with pure water, a
nd everything polished to perfection.
I was chosen for this. When I was a young girl the priests of the temple came to my family and asked for me. Young enough I accepted, wondering what my role would be. The rest is a blur of prayer and training and a world filled with the light of her grace. I am alive for her.. My entire being is in her blessing and honor and I loved her.. and her completely. I didn’t think of life beyond the temple, my only contemplation being what I could do to improve myself, to make myself less human and more in line with what the Goddess wanted from me. And home was Philae, the turquoise watery shores a cool site for my eyes, and the worshippers, free to worship who they please, a blessing and a joy to behold.
So I was quite surprised when we were overtaken by royal guards that night…. and besieged by their hatred and fear.. but that is another story. I broke free from them after hearing the onslaught from the inner bath house and took the secret stairway to the inner sanctum. There I prayed and asked for protection from her holiness. I heard the screams from the solid stone walls… and kneeled in supplication and in fear.. but knowing that whatever happens.. she is within me.. and she will hold me, and she willed this…
That was when I heard the door open….
(Written by SMB, inpired by EP)