So this past week I went through another one of my Mom’s birthdays. It hits me differently each time. This time I was halfway through a work day when something was said that just made my heart drop out of my chest. True loss flooded my soul and I choked back tears and tried to appear as if everything was normal. But its difficult to keep on moving forward when your heart is dealing with phantom pain of a loss that will never quite leave you.
This year I have made great strides and still carry on, wanting to get to that certain something. I know what it is.. but I also know that when I attain it I will want something further off in the distance. That is what keeps life going. If you settle you die.
I thought a lot of what she would want and where she would be. And in that vein I will be dedicating some of my time to getting her art out there. She was an incredible artist, who didn’t get the recognition she deserved when she was alive.. so I will make sure she gets it now.. it is my legacy, and my work to do in honor of her.
Would she of wanted me to be somewhere else, do something different.. as far as my life goes.. no. She knew everything comes round, and you are always where you should be, to work out what your working on.
That being said, without this obstacle, this life event that has forever defined me, has also brought out certain aspects of my character that I probably wouldn’t of nurtured if it wasn’t for her loss… so I thank this experience for that.. for everything that that is… that someone is/ that I am.
Still her loss was the one moment in my life that I truly lost everything, my world collapsed in on itself, and I gained an entirely new one…
Onward! With love and honor to a great woman… who I hope you know the name of some day as an incredible artist…
~Sophia B. (wickedlydrivenmedia @2017)